How can you make your divorce easier on your children?


In our experience as family solicitors in Portsmouth, we’ve seen families break apart because of divorce. The dissolution of a marriage might be an emotional time for you, but be sure to make decisions for the benefit of your children.

Too often, we see offspring getting in the middle of a conflict between their parents, which can have far-reaching consequences and become the cause of trauma that sticks with them for life.

One of our primary aims is to help divorcing parents settle the divorce non-confrontationally, for the benefit of children involved, and overall, so that people can get on with their lives.

So what can you do to ensure that your decoupling won’t permanently damage your children? Read on to find out how to divorce amicably for the sake of your children.

Understand that divorce affects everyone involved

You and your partner might be ending your marriage, but its conclusion has far-reaching consequences for everyone in your family.

Despite potentially harbouring bad feelings toward your spouse, you must try to stand as a united front, or at the very least, be civil to protect your children.

Be empathetic towards how your children must be feeling, and be open to all questions that are asked, however challenging they might be to answer.

No one ‘wins’ in divorce

Keeping your children away from their other parent out of spite will not give you an advantage, but will only make your children confused and miserable.

Additionally, you shouldn’t openly blame your spouse for the divorce in front of your children because it’s incredibly harmful to them.

Keep the peace for your children’s sake.

Don’t punish your spouse

Adding to the last point, when you’re punishing your spouse, you’re not just hurting him or her but also your children.

Speaking ill of your estranged partner to your children also isn’t fair, as they still love both sets of parents, even if there is no lost love between the two of you.

Agree to disagree to protect your children

What you think is in the best interests of your children might be different from the ideas that your ex-spouse has. You might also have parenting styles that differ significantly.

Focus on the bigger picture during these times, your children watching more television than you’d like, or eating takeaways is insignificant if they’re happy, stable, and settled.

Educate yourself and listen to your family solicitors in Portsmouth

Understanding divorce basics is necessary. Being knowledgeable makes you more likely to make informed choices. If you are going through a divorce, do your homework and feel free to ask us questions about what to expect.

Don’t hire a solicitor who’ll fight in your corner no matter what

The unofficial term for this type of solicitor is ‘gladiator’, who will fight tooth and nail for your interests, which might not necessarily align with the interests of any children involved.

Try to stay out of court

Agreeing with your spouse might be challenging, but you must try to ensure that, despite being divorced, you remain a family unit.

Going to court should be a last resort for you and your spouse, as a divorce that goes to trial is arduous, expensive, and emotionally-charged.

Family solicitors in Portsmouth recommend mediation if you acknowledge that the two of you are finding it hard to come to any consensus.